Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
People in love make me want to vomit
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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