See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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