we have officially lost it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
