My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
