You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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