its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
