Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
