Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
