Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
