After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
