I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
