haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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