i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
