What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Randomize
