So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
