yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
