But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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