Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
birth control should be required to get into college
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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