At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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