and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
