Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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