Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
