He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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