i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
