After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
