You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
