I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
