She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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