some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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