I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
