No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
