The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
