About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
