Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
