Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
