Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
