A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
