I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
