I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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