Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
