I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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