Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i don't like sucking hair
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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