I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hippo gnu deer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
