My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
