there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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