spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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