I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
