just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
