You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
