he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
