What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
